


Side Effects

by lettersfromnowhere



Series: Starmora Oneshots [2]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies)
Genre: "spontaneous do-gooding sprees to impress your love interest": trope that should exist but doesn't, F/M, I write about Mantis far more than is normal oops, Post-Movie: GOTG vol. 2, ill-advised team building exercises, irresponsible use of empathic abilities, relationship development I guess?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-11
Updated: 2018-06-11
Packaged: 2019-05-21 04:32:13
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,072
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14908385
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lettersfromnowhere/pseuds/lettersfromnowhere
Summary: There is a reason that most team-building exercises do not involve mind-reading empaths. This is something the team should have known from the beginning.In other news, Peter is definitely never being allowed near a self-help book again.





	Side Effects

**Author's Note:**

> Just a heads-up, this is SUPER weird, sort of a trainwreck, and a lot of it is very incoherent. Oops! *insert “you tried” star here*

“I think we should do a team-building exercise,” Peter announced.

For a moment, Gamora simply looked at him as if he’d lost a couple million brain cells. “You want us to do what?”

“A team-building exercise,” he repeated. “You know, sort of a bonding thing. I, uh, picked up a book on effective leadership-“

“Yeah, right,” Rocket, sitting copilot, sneered. “Peter Quill, reading? Totally.”

“I am Groot.”

“I know, I don’t believe him either,” Rocket sighed.

“I’m pretty sure one of the first things you ever told me was that you ‘didn’t learn,’” Gamora commented, trying not to sound amused.

“Yeah, well, anyway,” Peter continued, “apparently, team-building is a good way to improve the performance of a group. I think it’s worth looking into.”

“We live together! How’s that not ‘bonding’?” Rocket argued.

“No, I mean, we need to do something non-work-related that doesn’t involve anyone drawing a knife on anyone else“ – Peter looked pointedly at Rocket – “or a blaster, or anything that explodes, catches fire, or could potentially maim everyone on this ship for life. Together. To have a better team dynamic!”

“You really think these people are capable of going ten minutes without threatening each other?” Gamora asked, unimpressed with the proposition.

“That’s my point exactly! We need to learn how to, you know, actually get along,” Peter insisted.

“Since when do you care about all of this diplomatic nonsense?” Rocket asked, now more confused than irritated.

“That book was life-changing, man,” Peter replied.

“I still refuse to believe that you read a book,” Rocket grumbled.

“Quill read a book?” Drax appeared in the doorway with a look of sheer shock on his face. “That is a severe behavioral anomaly.”

“You know,” Gamora interjected thoughtfully, “he may not be wrong.”

“Oh, come on,” Rocket groaned.

“Really. I am sure it would be…helpful in our work if we could work together more effectively,” Gamora reasoned.

“See? She gets it!” Peter replied triumphantly. “So now that we’ve established that we should do this, anyone want to suggest a bonding exercise?”

“I am Groot,” the young tree suggested. Rocket rolled his eyes.

“Somehow I doubt a karaoke night was what Quill was thinking when he said ‘team bonding,’” he sighed. “I would prefer an armed robbery.”

“Rocket, you’re missing the point,” Gamora sighed. “This is supposed to be a tame, entirely legal, and non-violent activity.”

“All things absolutely none of us know anything about,” Rocket shot back.

“Yeah, and that’s why we’re doing this,” Peter cut in. “So aside from karaoke and burglary…anything? And where’s Drax?”

“This oughta be good,” Rocket snorted.

Sure enough, Drax reappeared several minutes later with a deeply reluctant Mantis. “I do not think this is a good idea,” she protested.

“Nonsense! It is exactly what we need,” Drax reassured her.

“And what would that be?” Peter asked, raising his eyebrows and leaning back in his chair as if awaiting a long and indubitably boring lecture.

“I think that we need to honestly evaluate each other’s strengths and weaknesses in order to unify our team,” Drax explained.

“Okay, and…?”

“We should have Mantis read our emotions while we are thinking about each other,” Drax announced, “so she can tell us how we feel.”

Peter’s eyebrows shot up several inches in a not-entirely-displeased manner. “That actually not be an awful idea,” he agreed.

“Peter…” Gamora warned. “Do you have any idea how many fights this could start?”

“Worth it,” he countered. “Can’t you see how useful that feedback could be? A good group member has to listen to their team.”

“I really wish you’d never read that book,” Gamora sighed.

“Hey, it’s not a no!”

And so it began.

 

* * *

 

“Remember, guys, if any of y’all so much as touches your weapon during this, you’re getting locked out,” Peter reminded the team. “Trust me, you don’t wanna have to live the rest of your life wondering what everyone else thinks of you…”

“That…isn’t really that threatening,” Rocket uttered, not even trying to conceal his distaste for the afternoon’s activity. “Now can we just get on with it?”

“Sure. Who wants to start?” Mantis asked. Rolling her eyes, Gamora volunteered.

“Might as well get over with,” she sighed, dropping her voice to remind Mantis, “remember what we discussed.”

“Of course!” She said, oblivious to the secrecy Gamora had tried to maintain. “If anything I feel reveals your feelings for Peter, I am to pretend I didn’t notice it!”

“Mantis!” Gamora hissed. Rocket and Drax began to laugh hysterically; Peter simply grinned.

“No need to hide,” he asserted, trying to sound more suave than he appeared. “If you-“

“Shut up or I will violate your weapon rule,” Gamora snapped.

“Okay, fine, so she wants to go first. Let’s just get going before anyone gets hurt,” Peter sighed. “Why’d we think this was a good idea again?”

“It is a wonderful idea,” Drax maintained.

“Ready?” Mantis asked. Gamora nodded, and she placed a hand on her shoulder. “Who are you going to start off with?”

“Rocket, I guess,” Gamora decided.  
“You feel irritation,” Mantis announced. “Because his reckless attitude often endangers the team.”  
“It does not!” Rocket protested. “And hey, didn’t you say strengths and weaknesses!??”

Gamora shook her head. “Fine,” she scoffed, allowing Mantis to read her again.

She paused for a moment and nodded – that makes sense. “She feels hesitant to compliment you because she does not know how to separate your good qualities from your reckless behavior,” Mantis explained. “But she does appreciate your skill with technology. Only sometimes, though.”

“Wooooow,” Rocket drawled. “So kind of you!”

“This was a terrible idea,” Gamora snapped. “Can I just go on to Groot?”

The tree perked up. “I am Groot?”

“Of course she’s gonna be nicer to you,” Rocket huffed. “Have you seen yourself?” Gamora couldn’t help but smile ever so slightly at that.

“You feel protective,” Mantis concluded. “Motherly, almost. You enjoy having someone to take care of, and you appreciate the satisfaction that parenting Groot brings you.” Gamora glared at her.

“…And now you feel anger because you did not want me to tell them that you are softer than you appear,” Mantis finished, looking more than a little bit worried.

Rocket looked both jilted and smug. “Hey, at least I didn’t get freakin’ mommy feels,” he chortled. Groot glared at him.

“You do realize you don’t have to tell them everything I’m feeling?” Gamora asked, clearly working hard to keep her cool. “Just the relevant things.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Mantis nodded deferentially. “Who would you like to evaluate next?”

“Drax,” she decided. Mantis nodded and repositioned her hand on Gamora’s forearm.

“You feel frustration, because he often lacks understanding and common sense in ways that make him difficult to work with. And now you feel guilty-“

“Only the relevant feelings!” Gamora reminded her.

“Right, sorry. But you also feel gratitude for his loyalty and good intentions,” Mantis finished.

“I am not displeased with that assessment,” Drax announced, “although I cannot see how I lack understanding. My decisions are perfectly logical!”

“You’re lyin’ to yourself,” Rocket snorted.

“Now would you like to evaluate Peter or myself?” Mantis asked, trying to move the pace along.

“You,” Gamora responded. Mantis looked somewhat frightened.

“You feel annoyance,” Mantis told the group. “You feel like my abilities create the possibility for violations of your privacy and you are afraid that I will accidentally tell Peter-“

“We talked about this,” Gamora warned, two seconds from snapping.

“Oh. Right. Violations of privacy,” Mantis babbled nervously. “But you appreciate my kindness, and that I care about everyone – aww, thank you!”

“’Course,” she replied, trying to look serious.

“You are nervous,” Mantis added. “Because you have realized that Peter is the only person left to evaluate, and now you are embarrassed because you love him and-wait, this is the thing we discussed, isn’t it?”

Gamora said nothing. She simply glared.

“Y-you also feel irritation – you seem to feel that frequently – because he tries to hide behind his public image,” Mantis blurted out, as fast as she could in a hasty attempt to divert Gamora’s attention before she stabbed her. “You feel like his cockiness is off-putting and wish he would be more openly selfless. And sensitive. You feel affection for his soft side and wish he would display it more often.”

Gamora stared at her lap, too embarrassed even to protest. Peter looked a combination of gratified, shocked and resolute.

He paid little attention to the rest of his teammates’ evaluations. No, this was far more important. He needed a plan.

 

* * *

 

Peter, Gamora decided, was acting strangely.

First, there’d been the kitchen incident; one of Rocket’s latest…creations…had nearly put a hole through the kitchen ceiling, rendering dinner impossible. Peter usually would have had a biting lecture ready for their resident pyromaniac, but he simply shook his head and gamely announced that the team would be eating out.

This in itself was odd. But, even odder, the incident didn’t appear to have been isolated. Parking at the restaurant they’d selected, Gamora noticed that the Peter appeared to be transferring credits to another ship’s meter. “That’s not ours,” she called out across the landing pad.

“I know, but these people ran out. Didn’t want them to get towed,” he explained. Gamora raised her eyebrows (that’s not weird at all…) but said nothing, trudging past the crowds towards the dimly-lit eatery.

“We don’t have an unlimited income, Peter,” Gamora pointed out. “Are you sure we should be paying other ships’ meter fees?”

“Come on, we can spare fifteen credits to pay it forward,” he protested, feigning casualness he almost certainly did not feel.

“Since when do you care about paying it forward?” she muttered, and let the subject drop.

Gamora had assumed this would wear off after a couple of days (maybe he’s just on some kind of charity kick?), but Peter’s newfound altruism didn’t seem to be going anywhere. In the week since his meter incident, Peter had insisted upon making dinner three times, let Rocket (somewhat) off the hook for at least two minor explosions, taken the liberty of polishing several of Gamora’s weapons…

“Peter has clearly taken your evaluation to heart,” Mantis commented after one such instance.

“He…what?” Gamora paused, and realized seconds later what she’d been referring to. “Oh, when we did the team-building exercise? I told him…oh.”

It hit her like a sack of rocks.

“You told him to be more selfless,” Mantis reminded her. “Clearly, he is trying to take your suggestion.”

Gamora shook her head. “He’s doing this because of me?”

Rocket wandered into the room with a smirk. “Duh.”

“That’s…embarrassing,” she confessed, trying to conceal the warmth blooming in her chest at the implication that Peter would do all of the ridiculous, stupid, incredibly sweet things he’d done the past week because of her, for no other reason than that she had ventured that he should be more selfless. It was a thought that made something in her ache, the idea that Peter cared enough to take her advice. Cared, not as a teammate, not as an ‘effective leader,’ as he’d put it, nor even as a friend. Cared as something she dared not define, the kind of caring that was all too slippery a slope. A slope too slippery and too steep to ascend again if she let herself fall too far.

“Why should it be? It only shows that he values your opinion,” Mantis wondered.

“Exactly. He values my opinion. And why do you think he does?” Gamora spelled out, irritated tone masking her internal doubt.

“Because he loves you,” Mantis answered. “Clearly. Were you unaware of this?”

“I’m not blind, Mantis. I’m just not ready to acknowledge it yet.”

“I think that is the most you’ve ever said to me,” Mantis remarked, eyes widening slightly. “Have you been poisoned?”

Gamora glowered in her direction. “Poisoned? Really?”

“It is a reasonable explanation of your irrational behavior.”

Gamora buried her head in her hands and wondered how she had let this happen.

 

* * *

 

It was by chance, and sheer boredom, that Gamora happened upon an extremely problematic book by the name of Six Strategies of Effective Leaders.

Of course, she hadn’t exactly planned to be left on the Quadrant watching Groot on one of the team’s nights out, but tree-sitting duty had fallen on her that night, and as the book was the only thing onboard she could find to entertain herself, she found herself thumbing through a chapter called “Group Input: the Backbone of Leadership.” Might as well see where Peter is getting these strange ideas, she figured.

The “Backbone of Leadership” did not, Gamora found, make for riveting entertainment. She soon found herself drifting off out of sheer boredom (something she’d been fairly certain her body mods were supposed to prevent), only to be jolted awake by the sound of footsteps.

“Gamora?” Rocket called. “Are you even here?”

“Of course I’m here,” she snapped, still leaning back dazedly against her chair with Peter’s book splayed open haphazardly in her lap. The group rounded the corner and –

“What happened to you?” Gamora asked, sitting upright abruptly and trying to conceal her alarm. Peter held a large ice pack to his eye.

“He got into a fight,” Rocket cackled.

“Peter!” Gamora admonished.

“First of all, I did not get into a fight, I broke up a fight,” Peter explained. “And I’m glad to see you’re enjoying the book. Enlightening, isn’t it?”

She considered telling him that his “enlightening” reading material had put her to sleep, but the realization that nobody would let her hear the end of that for years, probably, held her back.

“You…broke up…a fight,” Gamora repeated. “Why?!?”

“These two guys were beating each other into a pulp,” Peter explained. “I mean, did you expect me to just-“

“We need to talk,” Gamora cut him off.

“Right.” He followed Gamora willingly into the nearest vacant room.

“So let me get this straight. You broke up a fight out of some strange sense of goodwill and got yourself pounded?” Gamora asked.

“…yes,” Peter admitted reluctantly.

“And what possessed you to do that?” She followed up.

“I…don’t know,” he sighed. “I guess the evaluations – when you said I needed to be more selfless, I…”

“You wanted to impress me?” Gamora inquired.

“No! Actually, yes-no, wait, I have no idea what I’m saying anymore,” Peter groaned. “You said to cut the tough-guy act! What did you expect me to do?”

“I guess I didn’t know that you would take my…feedback…so seriously,” Gamora admitted.

“You know your opinion matters to me,” Peter reminded her. “And I’m not just saying that because you also told me to be more sensitive.”

“That’s nice and all, but no one would go to that much trouble after one comment just because they valued my opinion,” Gamora countered.

“Look, I…” Peter shook his head. “I thought you’d appreciate it, maybe even be impressed…”

Gamora would deny under any oath she could possibly take that the incredibly pathetic look on his face melted her heart in every way, but she couldn’t – didn’t want to – stop herself from stepping forward and taking his hands. Peter looked down at her with an utterly adoring look in his one non-injured eye.

“You don’t need to try to impress me,” Gamora told him, gently squeezing his hands. “I said that because you tend to hide behind your reputation, not because there’s anything wrong with you.”

“But…” Peter objected, trailing off as he found he had nothing to say.

“The problem isn’t that there’s anything wrong with you, Peter. It’s that…the person you act like isn’t the person you really are,” Gamora confessed. “Everything I admire about you…nothing has anything to do with who you say you are – the whole ‘outlaw’ act.”

“Sweet of you, but none of that made any sense,” Peter replied, a ghost of a smile passing across his features.

Gamora took a breath. “Sorry, bad with words.” She let go of his hands and stepped back, hoping that removing the physical contact that threw her brain miles off its target would help her to collect herself. “What I’m saying is…I don’t want you going and getting yourself hurt because you think I want you to be something other than what you are.”

“Trust me, I’m not exactly jumping to throw myself into the middle of any fights again,” Peter reassured her. “This kinda sucks.”

“That’s good, but…not the point. I think what I really meant by that, if I’d had more time to think about it, is that…I want you to be yourself. You don’t have to break up fights or anything to be selfless – you just are,” Gamora explained.

“So you want me to be myself, and by myself you mean the kind of person who gives good massages and helps old ladies with directions?” Peter asked, almost laughing.

“I never mentioned massages, but yes, I do think you’re far more…compassionate than you let on,” Gamora confirmed.

“You’re one to talk,” Peter shot back good-naturedly. “And really? You’re not at all impressed by the fact that I took a black eye to break up a fight?”

“Never said that,” Gamora muttered.

“So you are impressed!”

“Never said that either.”

“You know you are,” Peter teased.

“I’d be more impressed if you’d stop flirting with anything that moves,” Gamora countered.

“Methinks the lady doth protest too much,” Peter replied, smirking.

“First of all, you’re the one protesting, and second, you want to impress me, burn that book,” Gamora challenged. “It’s caused us enough problems as is.”

“How long is it going to take you to admit you totally have a thing for sensitive guys?”

“Beside the point, Peter,” Gamora sighed.

“And why would I do that? That book was life-changing, man,” Peter protested, shaking his head as he left.

“Maybe I do have a thing for nice guys,” Gamora called after him. “But you’ve made it clear that that’s not you!”

“Disgusting,” Rocket muttered, walking past with an expression of pure revulsion.

“I’ll figure something out!” Peter shouted down the hallway.

“Try it. I’m dying to see how this ends,” Gamora replied under her breath.

Gamora had concluded long ago she would likely never understand how Peter Quill’s brain worked, but perhaps there was something strangely compelling about the fact that she did not know.


End file.
